Confidence

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

10 Reasons Why Being Confident And Unstoppable Will Change Your Life

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

GENERATE CONFIDENCE MINDSET 

  1. ACTION FEEDS CONFIDENCE
    • The more action you take in life; the more power you have to break through fears. Express: Create, make, and do!

  1. FAKING IT LEADS TO BECOMING IT
    • You can’t wait to reach mastery – you have to act as-if before you think you can, and as you do, you will achieve mastery
  2. YOUR WORDS HAVE IMMENSE POWER
    • Words can affect you in two ways: 1) They can point you to your power 2) When said out loud, they give you power!
  3. YOU’RE AS POWERFUL AS YOU THINK
    • If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right. – Henry Ford
  4. HOW YOU USE YOUR BODY IS KEY
    • How you use your body affects how you think and feel – how you think and feels affects your sense of personal power
  5. YOU’RE BUILDING A MUSCLE
    • Like building a muscle, when it comes to building your confidence, it takes time, it’s hard work/pain, and consistency is key
  6. SMALL ACTIONS CREATE MOMENTUM
  7. BEING WRONG IS OK
    • Being invincible isn’t the goal – you want to make mistakes and own them…learn to be OK with being wrong
  8. YOU MUST BECOME CONFIDENCE
    • Confidence is more than a strategy; it needs to be part of your identity – you want to raise your confidence ‘thermostat’
  9. OTHERS CARE LESS THAN YOU THINK
    • We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do. – Olin Miller

ACTIONS: I WILL…

PRACTICE WHAT IF…UP

Change your focus from failure to success

POWER POSE

Stand & feel confident for 2 minutes

PRACTICE FREESTYLE EXPRESSION

Generate confidence by speaking out loud

SHOW CONFIDENCE IN SMALL WAYS

Focus on small steps instead of giant leaps

RELEASE NERVOUS ENERGY

Minimize the energy that destroys confidence

DRESS CONFIDENTLY

Look confident to feel confident

IDENTIFY & TRACK YOUR SMALL WINS

Keep a record of successes to build your confidence

TUNE INTO & ADJUST YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

Occasionally your body language

ELIMINATE NERVOUS HABITS

Get rid of nervous behaviors

VISUALIZE – MENTALLY REHEARSE

Experience winning, in advance

BE SPONTANEOUS

Train yourself to break through your fear barriers

GET MOVING!

Become a physical force of power and energy

SPEAK SLOWLY

Control your speaking to control your anxiety

PRACTICE WHAT IF… UP!

KEY IDEA: Change your focus from failure to success

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits. – Don Ward

Perception is everything

  • ASK: ‘What if this or that goes wrong, I look or say something stupid – drains your confidence
  • A mindset of losing usually guarantees failure

A shift from right to wrong

  • Instead of focusing on potential failure (What If…Down!), focus on potential success (What If…UP!)
  • What if: Everything goes right, this is the best ever, I blow them away?

Make a list

  • Mental or physical

Get emotional

Use your body

  • Clench your fists and show it on your face
  • Nod your head

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Enter a situation that has a significant outcome and/or requires a boost of confidence

Then I will…

  • Practice what if…up!

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Practice what if…up before entering any social situation, and doing it with feeling/emotion!

POWER POSE

KEY IDEA: Stand & feel confident for 2 minutes

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

The origins of the Power Pose

  • Developed by Amy Cuddy – Harvard professor
  • Found that standing confidently generated confidence

How to do it

Its effect on you

  • Lowers cortisol – the stress hormone
  • Raises testosterone – the power hormone
  • Generates confidence

The ultimate confidence booster

  • It can be done anywhere, anytime, as much as you want!

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Start my day
  • Am about to give a presentation
  • Am about to talk to someone
  • Need a boost of confidence

Then I will…

  • Do a Power Pose

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Do a Power Pose [choose a time: first thing in the morning, before I start work, etc.]

REFERENCES, RESOURCES, AND MORE

Learn more about how to Power Pose and the researcher behind it:

PRACTICE FREESTYLE EXPRESSION

KEY IDEA: Generate confidence by speaking out loud

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

The POWER of expressing yourself

  • External (your body) confidence is important
  • Internal (how you feel and express yourself) is paramount!
  • Express/speak with power and authority – become a person of power and authority!

The challenge

  • Social skills – expressing oneself – is a dying art

The solution

  1. Take a topic
  2. Think of 3-5 points to talk about
  3. Start talking out loud
  4. Explain: What, Why, and How

Building up to it

  • Read from a book – with clarity and emotion!

Its effect on you

  • Teaches you speak confidently without judgment
  • Boosts your ability to speak clearly and with power!
  • Helps you get familiar with the state of Confidence

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Am driving in my car
  • Take a shower
  • Am waiting for my tea to brew
  • Have 1-3 free minutes

Then I will…

  • Practice freestyle expression

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Spend at least 2 minutes a day to practice freestyle expression

REFERENCES, RESOURCES, AND MORE

Here are some ideas about what to express:

  • Explain something you know how to do
  • Describe a family member and why you love them
  • Describe what you did on your last vacation in vivid detail
  • Pretend to tell someone everything you’ve wanted to tell them in real life
  • Talk about a future vacation and what you will do
  • Explain something you learned recently
  • Pick a random topic and express everything you know about it (teaching, dogs, chocolate, happiness, waking up, etc.)
  • Recall the main points you learned from a book.

SHOW CONFIDENCE IN SMALL WAYS

KEY IDEA: Focus on small steps instead of giant leaps

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Change is hard

  • Changing your behavior to become more confident is something uncomfortable
  • Your brain doesn’t like uncomfortable – that’s why it resists change
  • Attempts to change in BIG ways don’t work

Small changes minimize resistance

  • Your brain is OK with small changes
  • Small changes are often within your standard level of acceptable pain (SLAP)

Small, confident steps

  • Smile at people all the time
  • Ask for people’s names and use them
  • Compliment others
  • Look people in the eye when you talk to them
  • Walk confidently
  • Say ‘thank you’ with real sincerity
  • Use your hands slowly and fluidly when you talk

Small changes create BIG results

  • Small changes, done consistently, compound to create BIG results

IMPLEMENTATION

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • [Choose a small confident step] when [choose an event]

Examples:

  • Smile at people when I walk past them
  • Ask servers at restaurants their name and use it
  • Look for specific ways to compliment others at work and let them know
  • Walk confidently to my office/desk every day
  • Pay attention to how I use my hands when I speak.

RELEASE NERVOUS ENERGY

KEY IDEAMinimize the energy that destroys confidence

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Nervousness is unreleased energy

  • Fight-or-flight energy ignited by a release of adrenaline with nowhere to go:
    • Your heart rate speeds up
    • Your muscles get jittery
    • You begin to sweat

Nervousness CAN be controlled

  • You’re not genetically inclined to feel nervous
  • It’s possible to minimize or even eliminate it

Your body is your best weapon

  • You rarely talk yourself out of nervousness
  • Use your body to release the nervous energy

3 simple ways to release nervous energy

  • Take 3 deep breaths
  • Clench (fists and toes) and release
  • Walk, jump around, or stretch – get moving
  • OPTIONAL: Say a powerful affirmation

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Feel nervous

Then I will…

  • Take 3 deep breaths
  • Clench and release
  • Walk, jump around, or stretch – get moving

DRESS CONFIDENTLY

KEY IDEA: Look confident to feel confident

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Our clothes affect how we feel

  • Pajamas relax us
  • Work out clothes get us energized
  • A uniform puts us in a specific mindset
  • A power suit/dress makes us feel unstoppable

Society has lowered the standard

  • It’s become acceptable to ALWAYS dress ‘relaxed’ and ‘casual’ (sweatpants, t-shirts, etc.)
  • Relaxed and casual dress = relaxed and casual people – low energy
  • Let relaxed and casual be a treat, not a habit

Put on a powerful self-image

  • When you know you look good/confident, it generates feelings of power and control
  • Name brands not needed, just:
    • Clean
    • Pressed
    • Proper fit
    • Nice shoes
    • Whatever makes YOU feel powerful

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

• Get dressed

Then I will…

  • Dress in a way that makes me feel confident and charismatic

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Dress my very best at all times, especially those times when I need to perform at my highest level.

IDENTIFY & TRACK YOUR SMALL WINS

KEY IDEA: Keep a record of successes to build your confidence

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences successful experiences behind you. – William Jennings Bryan

Small wins are small accomplishments

  • Making progress on or complete something – a win:
    • Write a blog post – you win!
    • Pay your bills – you win!
    • Cook a healthy meal – you win!

Small wins often get ignored

  • If they’re not mind-blowing, why bother?!?
  • WRONG!

Seeing is believing

  • Take notice – you have a lot of small daily wins
  • Seeing small wins generates belief you CAN win
  • Belief in your ability to win creates confidence!

Collect daily references

  • You want to note and track your awesomeness

Recall or write

  • At the end of the day, spend 1-3 minutes thinking about or writing down your small wins

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Get to the end of my workday

Then I will…

  • Identify and track (recall or write down) my small wins

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge

myself to:

  • Spend 1-3 minutes at the end of my workday to capture the small wins I’ve experienced for that day.

TUNE INTO & ADJUST YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

KEY IDEA: Occasionally check your body language

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Confident body language is a must!

  • How you use your body is key to expressing confidence

Fighting years of mindless automatic

  • Your current body language likely reflects years of mindless behavior:
    • Fidgety

    • Slouched

    • Dragging feet

    • Looking away

Tune in and adjust

  • Occasionally stop and analyze
    • Is my body language weak or powerful and confident?
  • Slowly adjust as necessary

Triggers are needed

  • Remembering to check is a challenge
  • Use a trigger (event) to tell your brain to tune it
  • Implementation process to the right

Old habits die hard

  • May take time to transform – keep doing it

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Am listening to someone speak

Then I will…

  • Make sure I am looking at them in the eye
  • Keep my hands still
  • Stand up straight

When I…

  • Walk

Then I will…

  • Walk with a confident stride and posture

When I…

  • Give a presentation

Then I will…

  • Walk with confidence to get up and give it
  • Stand up straight

ELIMINATE NERVOUS HABITS

KEY IDEA: Get rid of nervous behaviors

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

The face of ‘nervous’: Habits

  • Biting nails
  • Picking skin
  • Twirling hair (if you have it)
  • Drumming
  • Smoking

More than a momentary state of nervous

  • Practice a nervous habit, and it instantly puts
  • you in a state of insecurity
  • It also maintains a low confidence ‘thermostat’ setting

Feed one wolf – starve the other

  • What you feed grows
  • What you starve dies
  • Feed both – they counteract each other
  • For maximum results: Always feed confidence and starve nervousness

Eliminate and get results

  • If you did nothing else – eliminating a nervous
  • habit will dramatically impact your confidence

REFERENCES, RESOURCES, AND MORE

Learn more about how to eliminate a nervous habit:

VISUALIZE – MENTALLY REHEARSE

KEY IDEA: Experience winning, in advance

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Visualization is a powerful tool

  • Visualizing lays down, in advance, the neural network needed for taking action
  • Visualizing helps you see eliminate obstacles
  • A path and lack of obstacles = confidence

Winning in advance

  • You have a choice of how to use this power
  • People often use it wrong – they visualize failure
  • See yourself winning!

How to do it

  • Before entering a situation:
    • Visualize the basic action steps you will take
    • Visualize the experience of a successful outcome
    • See it, feel it, and believe it!

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Enter a situation [identify a situation] that has a significant outcome and/or requires a boost of confidence

Then I will…

  • Visualize – mentally rehearse a successful outcome and the steps to reach it

BE SPONTANEOUS

KEY IDEA: Train yourself to break through your barriers

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Confidence requires physical energy

  • Confidence is a high-energy skill/trait
  • Feeling fatigued or weak will not be overcome without a way to increase your physical energy

Energy requires motion/movement

  • To feel energetic, our bodies need to move!
  • Moving generates power and energy within us – our blood gets moving and oxygen increases
  • Move a lot and it improves your self-image

Energy enables you to destroy obstacles

No gym required

  • Increasing energy doesn’t require hours at the gym
  • Simple, doable strategies – even just walking More

IMPLEMENTATION

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Get up from my chair every 30-60 minutes and

  • move for 1 minute

  • Park far away instead of close

  • Walk 3-5 minutes each day

  • Take the stairs

  • Walk around the house while I wait

REFERENCES, RESOURCES, AND MORE

Here are some suggested ways to be more

spontaneous:

  • Start a simple conversation with a stranger
  • Meet your neighbors – take them a small gift (cookies)
  • Explore an area of your to town you’ve never been to before
  • Do one thing you’ve been putting off for more than three months
  • Make a how-to video and post it on YouTube
  • Try geocaching 
  • Write or call a family member you haven’t spoken to in a while
  • Drive to a small town around you and walk around
  • Be generous to someone in a small way
  • Try a new restaurant for lunch
  • Compliment a stranger

GET MOVING

KEY IDEA: Become a physical force of power and energy

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Confidence requires physical energy

  • Confidence is a high-energy skill/trait
  • Feeling fatigued or weak will not be overcome without a way to increase your physical energy

Energy requires motion/movement

  • To feel energetic, our bodies need to move!
  • Moving generates power and energy within us – our blood gets moving and oxygen increases
  • Move a lot and it improves your self-image

Energy enables you to destroy obstacles

  • With high power and energy, your habit
  • Obstacles (fears and doubts) become more like bumps than walls

No gym required

  • Increasing energy doesn’t require hours at the gym
  • Simple, doable strategies – even just walking More

IMPLEMENTATION

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Get up from my chair every 30-60 minutes and move for 1 minute
  • Park far away instead of close
  • Walk 3-5 minutes each day
  • Take the stairs
  • Walk around the house while I wait

REFERENCES, RESOURCES, AND MORE

Learn more about how to start a simple work out or begin walking as a simple exercise:

  • how to start a simple workout | YT
  • 7-minute workout | YT
  • 4-minute workout | YT
  • simple ways to move more | YT
  • walking for beginners | YT
  • how to start walking | YT

SPEAK SLOWLY

KEY IDEA: Control your speaking to control your anxiety

Generate Confidence By Speaking Out Loud

DISCUSSION

Anxious energy speeds up your speech

  • Nervous energy needs to be released – either through rapid muscle movements or a fast tongue
  • Speak too fast and you reveal your fear to others

Speaking slowly: The antidote to anxiety

  • Anxiety can speed up your speech – slowing down your speech can minimize anxiety
  • It fools your brain into believing you’re OK
  • You breathe better – leads to being calm
  • You have more time to think before you speak

How to speak slowly

  • Pay attention – tune in to how you speak
  • As you tune in, focus on slowing down
  • Articulate your words – be slow, deliberate, and specific
  • Pause occasionally
  • Breathe!

It won’t be weird

  • What seems like slow and boring to you conveys calm and confidence to others

IMPLEMENTATION

When I…

  • Speak

Then I will…

  • Tune in to the speed of my speaking and slow down

CHALLENGE: For the next 7-30 days, I challenge myself to:

  • Speak slower than what seems normal, especially in situations that cause me anxiety

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