Relationships

You Teach People How To Treat You

HOW TO TRAIN OTHERS TO TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT
What’s your experience?

  • Do you find yourself regularly:HOW_TO_TRAIN_OTHERS_TO_TREAT_YOU_WITH_RESPECT
    • Feeling that people don’t value or listen to you?
    • Bothered that people talk about things around you that you find offensive or dislike for some reason?
    • Get the impression that others take advantage of your kindness and willingness to help?
  • Is it your belief that some people aren’t treating you the way you want or expect them to treat you?
  • When you experience this regularly, it can be frustrating, stressful, and discouraging

What’s wrong with Them?!?

  • When these scenarios happen, the thoughts that pop into your head probably center around the flaws of others:
    • Why do they believe they’re better than me?
    • They’re disrespectful – why do people like them?
    • They sure like taking advantage of others when they can!
  • This is known as victim mentality, which can lead you to accept things as they are because you largely feel powerless to change them – this isn’t true!
  • The harsh reality is this – If you don’t teach people how you expect to be treated, they’ll typically treat you how they want to treat you
  • You are in control, but you have to take control
  • In a nutshell: You have to demonstrate to others through your words and actions what you find acceptable on unacceptable behavior? and stop assuming they should know by default:
    • Input – If you want people to value/listen to your input, then share it with authority – don’t assume others ‘should know’ how you feel
    • Conversations – If you don’t want to listen to the negative/offensive conversations of others, then walk away – don’t stay because you don’t want to appear rude
    • Requests – If others ask you to do something you can’t/don’t want to do, then kindly say no’ – don’t do, then complain about how you were taken advantage of
    • Reinforcement – If you want people to value and respect you, then express your appreciation to them when they do – reinforce behaviors you like
  • Teach others how to treat you (by your words and actions! and you’ll be amazed at how the ‘bullies’ in your life will begin to either leave you alone or respect you

How to use this:

  • Spend a few moments reviewing common or recent interactions you’ve had with others
    • Identify times when you felt others didn’t treat you nice
  • Define a word/action strategy for changing your results:
    • When_ _ _ _ _ [name] _ _ _ _ _ _ [action]
    • Then I will _ _ _ _ _ _ [words/actions]

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